Well I’ll Be Damned!

May 1, 2014

(NSFW language)

So I’ve got about two weeks before my 3rd half-marathon, and to say that my training hasn’t been consistent would be an understatement. Not to say that there’s been no training, but my runs haven’t been amazing, my diet has matched my runs… it’s just been very underwhelming.

ImageWhy?  To be honest, I wasn’t very sure.

Until today.

I went for a run today – it’s a beautiful day, wanted to do 4-6 miles. So I got started, and I was all over the place – my brain was just going NON-STOP with information. I couldn’t stop thinking… couldn’t shut it off. What was my pace… how far had I gone… I’m not gonna be ready for this race… how am I gonna hydrate for the race… maybe I should just not do it… is everything ok with my hotel room… how am I gonna do this race by myself… so I stopped and sat down.  I had been running for only about 6 minutes.

And then I had a gahdamn epiphany.

Seriously – for some reason, something clicked for me…


I’m in my own fucking head sabotaging myself. And what’s crazy is that I’m doing it in EVERY PART OF MY LIFE. I talk myself out of so many different things even before I do them; I talk myself out of job opportunites even before I walk into the interview. I tell myself I don’t want to try X or Y because I already ‘know’ I won’t enjoy it – or people won’t enjoy me being there. I don’t write anymore because seriously, nobody wants to keep hearing about me this much – plus I tell my wife everything I’m feeling… we talk about it, and that’s that.

I mean, I can literally talk myself out of ANYTHING – and it’s debilitating.

So I decided to stop worrying. And I’m going to keep trying to not worry. And it started with my run.

I turned off my RunKeeper, I turned off my running playlist and I just ran. I have no idea how far. I kinda have an idea of how long. I just ran until I didn’t want to anymore, then I stopped and walked back to the car.


Now, I know this whole issue with the “voice inside my head” isn’t a new thing… I’ve been fighting myself for years. Sometimes it gets the better of me, other times I beat it’s ass back. But right now, in this moment, I’m making a conscious choice to not listen to the negativity and change the voices attitude to one of positivity and motivation.

So today I’m putting together a quick 2 week half-marathon plan… just to help me get the endurance & stamina up again before the big day. Every day starting this Saturday will have either a run, a workout, or both. All helping me get to this race.  Plus, I remember that I started writing for me… and I kinda forgot that.

So I’m probably gonna write some more. Take a few pics. Post some motivational shit on my page. Because you know what? I NEED IT. I hope you guys like it too, because I think you guys are great. And I’m sorry I haven’t put myself out there as much I had been. I go in and out of my head a lot… it’s not easy for me!

(PS – sorry if this is kinda all over the place… I’m ridin’ the wave!)



Our Vision

November 18, 2013


Lots of things goin’ on over here.  And this post is regarding the most important – my marriage.


Yes, the marriage that began in this here blog has FINALLY happened!  I have a couple of pics of my bee-you-tee-full wife and I on our awesome wedding day throughout the post… couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day.


One of the things we have learned together on our journey was that we really need to make commitments.  Commitments to ourselves, our relationship and, eventually, our future family.  To that end… instead of traditional vows at our wedding ceremony, we instead decided to write out our Vision and share it with our friends & family.

1469952_10151772296207828_1224371045_nOur vision is not set in stone – we’ll be adding as our life changes and grows together.  But, for where we are right now, these are the things that are important to us.  And, since this blog really played such an important part of our lives together, I think it’s only fair that I share that vision with you all!  This is very personal to me – and to us – but all of you reading this are such a major part of what I’ve been able to do with my life, I want you to help hold this vision for us as we start our life together.

Without further ado, Our Vision:

“Today and always I commit that I will hold this Vision for our journey through life together.

I lead a healthy and active lifestyle.

I stay grounded and connected to the divine within me and all around me.

I nurture ever-growing passion, intimacy and connection with you.

I grow through life’s challenges with grace and integrity and will learn from every lesson.

I use the gifts I’ve received from all of my relationships to create a loving, bonded and healthy family.

I know that my willingness to allow abundance to flow will create a prosperous life for us.

I will be my best, do my best and give my best.

I show up for me, for you, for us and our family.”

1470345_10200832532643730_578653566_n (1)

Thank you all for being such a great support system for me… I can’t easily express how much I truly appreciate it.


What Are We Waiting For?!?!

July 2, 2013

This past weekend, two things bothered me.  A lot.  I couldn’t get them out of my head.  I thought about them all weekend – until Sunday afternoon when I broke down.  I cried.  I had an ‘epiphany’ of sorts.  They awakened something in me that made me realize I need to be better.


~ My father is retiring.  50 years of working with custom kitchens and bathrooms in a family owned business and he is closing the doors.  He is one of the strongest men I know – and right now he can’t lift his arm over his head.  He also can barely kneel his knees are so bad.  In my opinion, he needs physical therapy daily… but he won’t do it.  Why?  Because he’s my Dad and, in his generation, that would be a sign of weakness.  And one thing my father is not is weak.  So… we’re at the shop with my brother and we’re taking out a kitchen and what is he doing?  He’s carrying cabinets all around- AND USING A HAMMER TO BREAK UP A GRANITE COUNTERTOP.  He can’t lift his arms without excruciating pain, yet he STILL won’t ask for help from myself OR my brother, who are both more than able to do this.  We make him stop.

Firecracker 4 Mile 033A few months ago I asked him how he got so bad.  His response?  In a nutshell – when he was young, he was indestructible.  He kneeled on hard floors and concrete slabs for hours a day and didn’t wear any kneepads or kneel on a pad because, seriously, who does THAT?!?!   He carried huge cabinets on his own without asking for help because, c’mon, he can totally lift it himself!  He swung a hammer close to 200 x’s/ day for 50 years, and didn’t even think about the consequences.  That’s NOT a natural motion or impact your arm is designed for.  But he was big… and strong… so what could happen???  Right now, my brother does the exact same shit.  My brother is in crazy ridiculous shape but, regardless of that, he sees what ‘hulking around’ did to my father and yet STILL does the EXACT SAME THINGS.

~  My friend is morbidly obese.  The other day, he posted on his Facebook wall that he was headed to the hospital and to wish him luck.  We’re not as close as we used to be, but I still care about him and his battle with obesity.  I ask what happened.  He says he has numbness in his legs.  Later in the day he posts an update that tests came back normal and he now has a walker to help build the strength in his legs again.  He has gotten so heavy he can’t carry around his body weight.

A few years ago he had surgery to help with his weight.  He started losing pounds by the dozens, and he and I sat on his back porch for an entire afternoon and talked about what he needed to do mentally in order to not only continue to lose weight, but to keep it off for good.  Hell, I even took off from work that afternoon when our chat started getting serious because it was so important to me to have this conversation with him I didn’t want to leave.  He was willing to listen, but wasn’t open to therapy.  I insisted that losing weight wasn’t going to make him happy, but being happy was going to help him lose weight. “Nope, doesn’t work” he kept telling me.  Instead, he bought a treadmill and THAT was gonna help him keep it off.  He’s now put the weight weight back on – maybe even more – and is using a walker to get around.


So… back to my weekend.  Because of these two instances I couldn’t get these three questions out of my head:




questionmarksI’m so frustrated seeing all these people I know/ love/ care about falling apart because the most they choose to do is post passive-aggressive statuses on Facebook to hopefully get enough ‘likes’ and “you go, you’re so strong!” comments that they can sleep an extra hour that night.  They incessantly tell anyone willing to listen how resilient they are, while everyone they’re telling is talking about them with each other wondering when they’re gonna hit rock bottom.  I’ve told many of these people things they didn’t want to hear, even ruining the relationship I had with them in the process, because I did what every friend says they’ll do – yet mostly fail to do when the time comes; I tell them what they NEED to hear, not what they want to hear.

The thing that REALLY struck me about this though was – I’m the exact same way.  I’m terrified to ask for help because, to me, it’s a sign of weakness.  It shows that I’m not ‘strong’ enough to handle whatever life throws at me on my own, like apparently “everyone else” does.  It was an overwhelming weekend for me… it’s hard when you have a moment of self-realization like that… but one that I hoped would help me deal with these issues with more clarity in the near future.

Then Monday came.

I got the message around 1pm.  My friend (and co-host with my former podcast No Filter Radio) Chris texted me:

“I don’t know if you’ve heard what’s going on.  But if not I need you to call me”

I called, and that’s when I found out another one of our co-hosts, Mark, passed away in his sleep.  He was 33 years old and leaves behind a wife, two children and countless friends.  33.  I’m 39.  I have no kids, but can’t wait to have some.  I’m not married but can’t wait to make Jennifer my wife.  THIRTY-THREE.

At this point, I have no idea what the cause of death is.  And, to be honest, it doesn’t matter in the context of this conversation.  He’s gone.  And all I could do after that phone call was sit in my office, cry and think of those exact same questions from this weekend:




But I added one more:



I think it’s time we all stop screwing around with ourselves.  Seriously.  It’s over.  Time to stop being the victims in our own lives and start taking ownership of what we need to do to become the best people we can be.  From now on, I’m asking for help whenever I need it.  I’m done.  It’s not a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of strength.  And if you don’t feel that way?  Well, maybe it’s time you found some other people to surround yourselves with.  I could lose people I genuinely care about because they’re too proud to ask for help – and that’s just some bullshit.  I’m going to marry a wonderful woman, start a beautiful family and I’ll be DAMNED if I am going to do ANYTHING to myself that prevents me from being around to enjoy this life I’m creating for myself as much as humanly possible.  I’m tired of being a victim.  It’s time to be a success story.  I read that this weekend in a blog, and after the weekend I had it couldn’t ring more true.

I’m not training for races anymore…  I’ll still race, but I’m training to live.

To my friend Mark… REST IN PEACE.  Please know how much you will be missed by myself and so many others.  Your memory will live on in your music, our shows and will ALWAYS live on in my blog.

Why will his memory live on in my blog?

Well… he created my logo.


An Idea

April 21, 2013

I have an idea.  It’s going to involve a bit of crowd participation, but I’m gonna throw it out there and see what happens.

How clear are you about your goals?  Be it personal, professional, fitness, family, etc… how much clarity and focus do you have on exactly WHAT you want and, maybe more importantly, HOW you are going to achieve it?

I guess what I’m asking is – you know all those things you wanna do, that list in your head of things you want?  Let’s get a group of people together to help lay out a plan and do it.  Literally a ‘pen-to-paper’ plan to get you there.

The idea is this: I want to get together with a small group of like-minded people… people that want help putting their futures in focus… and are willing to share those ideas/ goals with others in order to assist in achieving them.  Could be online, maybe via phone… we can work that out.  But it WILL involve dedicating about an hour/ week to it.  We’d do it together as a group, helping to not only visualize the goals, but to also holding each other accountable as well.

It’s no secret that I’ve been absent lately, and I need to get REALLY clear as to what exactly I am trying to do.  When things aren’t going super-fantastic for me on the ol’ fitness/ motivation front I kinda feel like a fraud trying to help motivate others, so I retreat… then retreat farther… and farther.  Well, I’m done retreating.  Time to start moving forward – and I’m doing what is arguably the hardest thing for me to do:

I’m asking for your help.

So, with that being said – Who’s up for something new???  Message me on the Facebook page or at BlubberToRunner@gmail.com if you’re interested.  I’ll reach out to you and give you some more info.

Thanks everyone – I missed you.


This… is Sparta

February 4, 2013

“No retreat, no surrender; that is Spartan law. And by Spartan law we will stand and fight… and die. A new age has begun.”

~Dilios, ‘300’

SR_CMYK_Round_BBSo, when I told y’all what my plans were for 2013, I mentioned that I had my sights set on 5 obstacles races (didn’t know which ones), as well as a destination race (didn’t know where).  Well… Jen and I put pen to paper and killed a few birds with one stone.

One really awesome, mythological stone.

Ladies and gents – this is the Spartan Race.

Out of ALL the different obstacle races, this one is pretty awesome.  Now I know you’re probably asking:

“Gach, why is it awesome?”

“How is it different from the other races?”

“Dude, how do you get such beautiful skin?”

Well – it’s awesome because obstacle racing is no longer a niche activity… it’s a sport.  And Reebok has decided to sponsor Spartan Race, making it the first race series to receive such sponsorship.  Big money = BIG awesome.  Also, as the name indicates, it’s a Race.  Others, like the Tough Mudder, are really tough (and still on my to-do list for a TBD date/ timeframe) but not timed for everyday participants (just for the highest level competitors), so it’s more about teamwork.  Very cool in it’s own right… but it’s not the Spartan Race.

The other thing that we liked about this?  THIS, my friends, is MY ultimate goal for 2013:

trifecta-badgeTo complete the Spartan Trifecta.

The Spartan Race has 3 lengths you can choose based on your preference:

Sprint – 3+ miles, 10+ obstacles

Super – 8+ miles, 15+ obstacles

Beast – 10+ miles, 18+ obstacles

And completing the Spartan Trifecta is simply doing at least one of each in a calendar year.  ‘Simply’… LMAO.  There’s absolutely nothing simple about it.  It’s gonna be a great challenge – but a challenge I’m ready for.

“But wait… what the heck does this have to do with a destination race?”


spartan-race-1Well… the Spartan Beasts are few and far between.  So, Jen and I are planning a trip to sunny Madison, Wisconsin (!!!) to complete the final leg of the Trifecta.  Travelling to race (and coming home afterwards) is gonna be an interesting experience, but by then we’re gonna be 2x Spartan Race finishers… so really, what’s gonna phase us?!?!

And speaking of ‘us’… I think you should be part of ‘us’!  So why don’t you do one of the races with Jen and I?  And I’m gonna help you do that.  CLICK HERE, and sign up using the code on the page and get 15% your race – any race, multiple races, doesn’t matter!  Sign up for a race, use the code, 15% off.  It’s literally as easy as that.

And hey – use the code even if you can’t run with us… it’s good regardless.  And you’re welcome.  🙂

Oh, and just stop with the questions about my supple, glowing skin – it’s creepy.  And awkward.

I’m uncomfortable now… I’m going to moisturize.


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