Blubber To Runner

On Sunday, I rolled 2 of my friends out of bed at 430a and we trained it into Philly to see our other friends compete in their first-ever 1/2 marathon.  It was an amazing spectacle – the 1st big time race like that I ever watched live – and I’m truly happy to have been witness to such a huge accomplishment for 3 people I care about deeply. 

During the race a few of us got to walk around Philly and see many different things as we headed up and down the route, camped out at check-points and met the racers at finish line.  We even headed to Geno’s for an after-race lunch (14 points for that damn sandwich… and worth every single one) before heading back to the homeland to celebrate their accomplishment a little more.

The finishers!

Now, one of those people running?  La Diabla.  Remember her?  (If you don’t… here’s a refresher.)  She and I each ran our first 5K’s together Labor Day 2K10 and if you ever need an example of what perseverance and continuing to train religiously can do, just look to her.

Which is exactly what I did.

I did look to her… and, while doing so, came to the realization that if I hadn’t fallen off the wagon when I did I would have been running with my friends instead of watching them.  That kind of sucked to be honest… knowing that if I hadn’t failed and stuck it out, right now I would be where in my head I thought I would be at this point weight-wise, health-wise, etc. 

But, in talking with my friends about that exact point, this comment was made – how could I have failed my goal if I have never ever reached it in the first place? How could I have failed to lose 150 lbs if I only lost 80 then gained much of it back… I didn’t ‘fail’, I just ‘haven’t reached it yet’.

And that is a HUGE difference.

Now, as someone who enjoys a good back-and-forth conversation, I really had NO response to this.  I was speechless (which is an accomplishment unto it’s own).  I was speechless because it was 100% accurate.  Me losing and gaining weight could very well simply be the process I need to take in order to lose this weight permanently… the way that I need to learn how to shed the pounds – and keep them off.

I am notorious for being extremely hard on myself, and I program myself with words like ‘fail’ constantly.  For some reason I justify it by saying I’m ‘being honest with myself’ about what’s going on.  But by saying I failed I’m actually lying because, in essence, I really didn’t fail anything since I haven’t given up.  I may have taken a detour… but I haven’t given up.

To that end, I have officially signed up for the Hangover 5K at Tamaques Park on New Year’s Day, 2012 (here’s the link if you wanna sign up and run with us!)  I am going to be running with a large group of people – and apparently a dude with a Camelbak full of Red Bull and Vodka – so training needs to to start very quickly and be extremely productive.  No off days, no slack days… I’ve gotta get at it and at it hard.

Boots to Asses, remember?  🙂