Blubber To Runner

On Sunday, I rolled 2 of my friends out of bed at 430a and we trained it into Philly to see our other friends compete in their first-ever 1/2 marathon.  It was an amazing spectacle – the 1st big time race like that I ever watched live – and I’m truly happy to have been witness to such a huge accomplishment for 3 people I care about deeply. 

During the race a few of us got to walk around Philly and see many different things as we headed up and down the route, camped out at check-points and met the racers at finish line.  We even headed to Geno’s for an after-race lunch (14 points for that damn sandwich… and worth every single one) before heading back to the homeland to celebrate their accomplishment a little more.

The finishers!

Now, one of those people running?  La Diabla.  Remember her?  (If you don’t… here’s a refresher.)  She and I each ran our first 5K’s together Labor Day 2K10 and if you ever need an example of what perseverance and continuing to train religiously can do, just look to her.

Which is exactly what I did.

I did look to her… and, while doing so, came to the realization that if I hadn’t fallen off the wagon when I did I would have been running with my friends instead of watching them.  That kind of sucked to be honest… knowing that if I hadn’t failed and stuck it out, right now I would be where in my head I thought I would be at this point weight-wise, health-wise, etc. 

But, in talking with my friends about that exact point, this comment was made – how could I have failed my goal if I have never ever reached it in the first place? How could I have failed to lose 150 lbs if I only lost 80 then gained much of it back… I didn’t ‘fail’, I just ‘haven’t reached it yet’.

And that is a HUGE difference.

Now, as someone who enjoys a good back-and-forth conversation, I really had NO response to this.  I was speechless (which is an accomplishment unto it’s own).  I was speechless because it was 100% accurate.  Me losing and gaining weight could very well simply be the process I need to take in order to lose this weight permanently… the way that I need to learn how to shed the pounds – and keep them off.

I am notorious for being extremely hard on myself, and I program myself with words like ‘fail’ constantly.  For some reason I justify it by saying I’m ‘being honest with myself’ about what’s going on.  But by saying I failed I’m actually lying because, in essence, I really didn’t fail anything since I haven’t given up.  I may have taken a detour… but I haven’t given up.

To that end, I have officially signed up for the Hangover 5K at Tamaques Park on New Year’s Day, 2012 (here’s the link if you wanna sign up and run with us!)  I am going to be running with a large group of people – and apparently a dude with a Camelbak full of Red Bull and Vodka – so training needs to to start very quickly and be extremely productive.  No off days, no slack days… I’ve gotta get at it and at it hard.

Boots to Asses, remember?  🙂

So I lied.

 That wasn’t my last blog post.  Truth be told, I didn’t “lie” per se… I honestly thought, as I was typing it, that it would be the last time I would be using this blog.  But, as always seems to be the case, something happened.

At the end I asked for help.  I asked anyone who could give me advice on what I could do to please reach out to me and drop me a message, some tips, a pep talk… anything.  And a lot of people did – almost 40 people!  I’m not the most popular kid in class, so to get that kinda reaction was stunning to me.

And it helped me, in a very bizarre way, to make a BIG lifestyle change.

Out of those people that messaged me, FIVE (5) were due to relationships formed while I lived in Virginia, the state where I have resided for over 13 years.  Five.  All of the rest?  Jersey… where I grew up.  I gratefully responded to everyone that messaged me, and at that point I realized not only did the blogging help me as well as inspire and entertain a lot of people (hence why I am back), but that I was typing a lot of the same things over and over again:

‘No support system’
‘Kinda alone in this right now’
‘Hard doing this on my own’

It was at that point I said to myself “Why am I doing this alone, on my own, with no support system?  I’m in between jobs, divorced, no kids… why am I still here?”

4 weeks later… I was home.

I’m officially back in Jersey… in my hometown… ready to be with the people I know can help me get to where I need to be.  These are the people I am comfortable with letting into my life – something that was near impossible for me to do in VA (minus a few key people… and a couple of angels) and I can already feel the winds starting to change a little.

I’m at the gym where my best friends are all members – they’re all over the place, but we’ll work out together a bunch not just to work out, but to hang out too.  I start Weight Watchers again this week, with the one person in my life I worry about disappointing the most – Mom.  🙂  I have meals with my family several times/ day.  My goddaughter has already scheduled a ‘Wii Sleep Over’ so we can play Carnival Games, make a fort and have Grandpas famous chocolate milkshakes (how may points is that?).  These are the positives I needed to have in my life… and that I hated not having in VA.

I stayed in VA a few years too long I think, but better late than never I guess.

Now… there’s another influence in all of this that a) I am being entirely serious about, and b) is too entertaining not to mention.  As you all probably know, I love me some Twitter.  Well, one of the people I follow is Dwayne Johnson.

You may know him as this guy…

I know… I’m a grown-ass man and I still love me some wrestling.  I don’t schedule my days around it like I did when I was 10, but if I’m home and it’s on?  I most certainly have it on.  Well, The Rock is back wrestling, as well as filming for the new GI Joe movie, and is straight JACKED THE F**K UP.  I know this because he tweets motivational pictures of himself working out.  Dude’s got motivation out the ass.  And, for some reason, every time he posts something motivational, it works for me.  He’s like my personal Tony Robbins.  I wanna put Boots to Asses when he tells me to.  I wanna run/ workout/ drink protein shakes when he does.  I mean, even my Dad is motivated by him – and my Dad hates wrestling… and Twitter.  I completely mark out to everything he says.

So I decided I’m gonna use it.

It may seem crazy, but it works for me.  So, every morning, I wake up to one of a library of Rock videos when he goes and lays the Smackdown on some poor unsuspecting soul and use it to get my day started right.  Some people use coffee, others Red Bull… I prefer pie.  🙂

Seriously… how does that not get the blood pumping?!?!

A N Y W A Y . . .  Ladies and gentlemen… I’m back.  And this time, it’s for good.

So here’s the deal people… as you can already see the blog is changed up a little.  OK, a lot.  But its change signifies the change that this is for me.  I don’t have an ‘end game’… yet.  No lofty goal… thus far.  My whole focus is just getting back on track.  Will there be a Tough Mudder in my future?  Yeah.  I just know that at this point I’m gonna need to do one.  I don’t know when or where yet, but it will be done.

But for now, it’s back to what works – Weight Watchers, exercising, friends, family – and puttin’ Boots to Asses if necessary.  Oh, and blogging about it.  There will be blogs.  This is what worked before so I’m gonna go back to it… guess will find out together how I do this time too!

Till next time… C-YA!